I Love You Dad

Since my last post so many things have changed in my life. Starting with the sudden passing of my dad on June 8th. I could hardly believe what I was hearing when my cousin came to tell me that my dad had passed away. One of my biggest fears had just came true. I wasn't ready for my dad to go, but are we ever ready to lose a loved one. Once I gathered myself, I had this tremendous feeling of peace come over me before I started to feel alone and lost in this world once more. My dad wasn't only my dad, he was my best friend. A day didn't go by that we didn't talk...I sure miss those conversations. Something will happen and I will say I have to remember to tell dad that when I call him.

My family has been awesome. My husband has helped me through this, we have leaned on each other every single day since. It still feels a bit like a dream but then I realize that I am not dreaming when I feel the tears well in my eyes.

With strength that I never knew I had helped me through the planning of the funeral, the phone calls that had to be made to family and friends. My faith helped me through this time as I know God and Jesus were with all the way and still are with me.

After my dad passed I prayed to God to let me know that my dad was safe in Heaven with my mom and that he was happy. The next morning I got the answer to my prayer when I phone my best friend in Flin Flon. Kim told me of the dream that she had of my dad on Sunday night, that he was in the most beautiful meadow you have seen. The wild flowers were absolutely breath taking and the smelt like non she has ever smelt before. My dad was walking hand in hand with a younger woman that Kim didn't recognize, they were laughing and talking and dad would stop to pick more flowers for this lady. Kim said he looked so happy. I asked him if this lady had dark hair and glasses which she said yes she did and she looked to be near 40 years old. I told Kim that was my mom that was with my dad. Kim told me after she arrived at our place that as my dad and this lady turned to walk back to where they came from with a basket full of flowers my dad stopped turned around and looked at her and told Kim, tell her I love her, then he smiled and winked as he walked away with my mom. Kim confirmed that it was my mom when she arrived on Wednesday when I showed her a picture of my mom. Kim's dream was the answer to my prayers.

Saying good bye to my dad was the hardest thing I had to do in a long time. I know we will meet again, I would have loved to have given him one more hug and told him once more that I loved him. That is one thing we always did was tell each love we loved them at the end of very visit or every phone conversation because you never know when the last time will be.

I am very grateful that my dad didn't suffer, he passed very quickly and painlessly and very peaceful.

Rest in Peace Dad, I Love You.

Heart Health

Since my dad took a TIA (Trans Ischemic Attack) aka Mini Stroke in December I have re-evaluated my lifestyle.

I always new that to be healthier I needed to loose weight but I had never done anything about...I guess you could say I was in denial. Well watching what happened to my dad scared me and really made me open my eyes and look at my own self and re-evaluate things.

I received an email this morning from Promise - Love Your Heart. There is some really good information on this site and the links provide information that I am finding useful. I have book marked this link and plan to look more closely at the information. One link that caught my mind was in on under the food guide area and it was about how to shop in the grocery store for your health. There are many other good articles on this site as well.

Follow the link below to

http://www.promisehealthyheart.com/

It seems more and more I hear of younger people having heart attackes and having serious heart problems. Take care of your heart, it is the only one you have.

Memories

I have received many pictures, stories, handmade gifts & cards over the years from my 3 children. I have saved many of these over the years and look back and remember the day Michael drew that dinosaur or the stained glass vase (tissue paper on a baby food jar) that Brittany made me for Mother's Day that still sits on my dresser or the card Meagan made me for my birthday. They all bring back many wonderful memories.

If you’re only giving your children cards and notes on “special” days and holidays, you’re missing out on a wonderful opportunity. On occasion I have wrote a letter to my children maybe to settle a disagreement that we had. Sometimes it is easier to explain what you mean on paper than in words. Other times it is just to tell them that I love them and treasure the times we have together. Sometimes it is a quick note to wish Meagan luck on an exam in school, or to tell Michael and Brittany to have a good day at work and of course the I Love You's.

I have many memories in my heart to draw on. I always enjoy going through the pictures that kids drew as they were growing up for the silly poems they wrote on the cards they carefully crafted for my birthday, Mother's Day, Christmas or just because.

Sometimes memories are all we have left....take the time to make them.

Love The One You're With

Today as I was heading towards the check out at WalMart a display of books caught my attention. One book more than the others seemed to stand out to me "Love The One You're With" by Emily Griffin. I am not exactly certain as to why it stood out so much to me. Maybe it had to do with a phone call from my youngest daughter, whose heart was hurting for reasons she couldn't quite explain. Of course it is boy troubles..... I read the jacket of the book quickly and set it back down as I am watching where I spend my money. For some reason the title of this book has been in the fore front of my thoughts since I walked away from the display of books.

As I thought about it I thought of questions that I could ask my daughter so she could think about things in her relationship with her boyfriend. Like can you truly love someone that makes you feel insecure more than secure, makes you scared to tell him what is really on your mind because you are afraid he will end the relationship. Do you love how he makes you feel? You see Meagan and her boyfriend broke up May 1st and were back together by the end of the May long weekend. They have gone from one extreme to spending too much time together to the other extreme of spending hardly any time together. She has to search her heart for what is right for her. It is always the hardest when it is your first love and you feel that you will never find another person to love or that will love you back.

This also got me to thinking about my relationship with my husband and how wonderful it is and how lucky I am that we found each other. I look forward to Friday nights when he is back home from work and dread Monday mornings as I know it won't see him again until Friday. We talk each night even if it is just to tell each other how much we love each other.

At once heartbreaking and funny, Love the One You’re With is a tale of lost loves and found fortunes—and will resonate with anyone who has ever wondered what if.

Have you ever wondered what if? I think most people have; but you can't live on what ifs you have to live with what you have and Love the One You're With.

God loves us. If we live in love, it serves as a sign that God lives in us.
We are capable of love only because God loved us first.

I John 4:16-19

Family Time

My weekend started out on a good note and ended the same way. Friday night around 7:30pm my son arrived at the Relay for Life. It was nice to see him....I gave him the biggest hug I could. Even though I miss him every day I am so very proud of him and happy for him.

Saturday Michael and his dad were out golfing until they got rained out on the 7th Hole. Even in the rain they had a great time together and both realized how much they miss each other even though they won't admit to it.

Sunday afternoon Michael and headed into PA. After my meeting we called my dad to invite him over for supper. He told me that he would pass as he was feeling tired....make a long story short, I put Michael on the phone and dad agreed to come for supper. Off to Safeway's to pick up steaks & corn on the cob. When we turned down the drive way both Michael and I start to laugh as my dad is already at my house waiting for us. We figured he knew Michael was home that as soon as he hung up the phone he grabbed his hat & car keys and was off to our house.

Michael and made an awesome supper enjoyed by all. BBQ'd steak - done to everyones liking, backed potato, ceasar salad, corn on the cob & ceasar salad. It was great for us to sit down to a wonderful supper as a family.

Family time is so very important. A time for us to share in each other's lives and build more memories to last a lifetime

I'm Tired

Well it was a long night but most enjoyable as always. As always the Prince Albert Relay for life is a big success.

The Luminary Ceremony is always an emotional time. Prime Ministers Park has the perfect setting for lighting of the "HOPE" candles, on the side of the hill with a row of spruce trees across the top and the Pipe Band standing just in front of the trees...truly a sight that takes my breath away each year. It is during this time that I think about the loved ones that have battled Cancer and lost; those that have battled and won and those currently battling Cancer. I don't know anyone that hasn't been touched by this dreadful disease in one way or another.

I will post photos & more information from the relay later, for now I am off to get some much needed sleep. zzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz

“ Victory is sweetest when you have known defeat."

A Walking We Go

Tonight is the start of the Canadian Cancer Society 12 hr Relay for Life event here in PA. Along with many other towns & cities in Saskatchewan there will be Cancer Survivors walking in the Ceremonial Start with the first lap of the relay and many team members walking through out the night. To see the sea of yellow t-shirts is amazing and so inspiring, they tell us year after year that we give them inspiration and we tell them the same thing...it does my heart good to know that we have as much impact on the Survivors as we have on them.

So with lots of water, some healthy munchies and a couple of Red Bulls I am set for the night. I am hoping to stay awake the entire night which will be a feat in itself as last night was a late night and I was awake at 5am so yep its going to be a long night.

Each year I dedicate my walk to my Mom, Uncle Ralph, my best friend Cheryl Thompson and this year I am adding my Aunt Helen who is currently battling cancer.

Ah-Ha Moments

It is amazing how one's self confidence rises as good things happen in ones life.

I had heard many people say that as they gained weight their confidence levels dropped and that when they started losing weight their confidence levels rose. I had my confidence Ah-ha moment last week. I have noticed that as I am shedding the pounds and inches my confidence is rising. I never really thought that my confidence was low but now as I think back to situations I realize it was. I attended a department wide meeting for work. When we arrived I found that we actually had to draw a number out of the hat to see which table we would be sitting at, already I didn't like it. I hate having assigned tables, it takes one out of their comfort zone and makes them vulnerable. So I drew Table 10, I was the first one to the table so I was able to take my pick of chairs. I sat their for a moment and thought to myself what am I doing, get up off your butt and go mingle. Before I would have stayed in my seat and waited for someone to come talk to me. It was at this moment that I had my Ah-ha moment and realized that my self confidence was rising. Then I asked myself what is different from this time to the last time you were in this situation. It was my weight that was different. Now I have lost 50 lbs or more but I have lost more than 20 lbs and more than 5 1/2 inches ( I haven't taken my measurements in over a month) but I am loosing weight and feel great. I am wearing clothes that I haven't worn in 5 years and clothes that I have been wearing that were on the tight side are now fitting better.

I have had a few Ah-Ha Moments since I decided to change my lifestyle for the better. Some of these moments come when I realize that eating breakfast everyday helps stay full through out the entire day day, not just the morning or being able to walk 5 km without pain and feeling like you could go again.

I especially like the looks I get from friends that haven't seen in months and notice that I have lost weight and say WOW you look good. I know that I am doing something right and I feel great about it.

When my husband told me he could tell I am loosing weight, I asked him how he said because I feel skinnier when he hugs me. That was such an awesome feeling to know that there is less of me now when he hugs me. I can feel it too, I do feel skinnier than I did last month and I look forward to feeling skinnier yet over the coming months.

Grocery shopping is a whole different experience now as well. I am reading labels and comparing the foods to get the healthiest choice possible. Part of my lifestyle change it wanting to have a garden so we can enjoy the fruits of our labor this fall when it comes time to harvest the garden. I want to can relish and freeze some produce for the winter and have potatoes till maybe Christmas time that come from our garden.

I am sure that I will have these Ah-Ha Moment as I continue on my lifestyle change that isn't only good for me and also for my family. Choosing to live healthier is my choice and I am glad that I made it.

Saving Memories

Today I stumbled across a box that my daughter Meagan made me many years ago for Mother's Day. I have never forgot about the box but rarely do I pull it out and look through it usually a couple of times a year. Meagan used an old Japanese orange box covered it with paper then drew different things on the box. I saved many different things in this box from pictures that my kids drew, various cards from them and my husband, notes from my kids and even the odd piece of art that they created for me. It didn't take long and this box was full so I created another one with the help of both Brittany and Meagan using an old shoe box, tissue paper and pictures from a porcelain doll magazine. Now this box is nearly full that I am thinking it is time to make another "Memory Box". Well this got me to thinking of a painting class that I wasn't able to attend. The class was painting the lid of this nice wooden box that would be perfect to keep letters and cards in. The quote on the top of the box was from Laura Ingalls Wilder.

Now I am searching the Internet for quotes from Laura Ingalls Wilder, so I can paint a similar box to keep those special letters and cards in as I am in need of another memory box.

"It is the sweet, simple

things of life which are the

real ones after all."

~Laura Ingalls Wilder

Society

Society is always changing. Every time we turn around something has changed. I look at what it is like for my kids growing up in today's society and think about what it was like when I was growing up. There are some similarities but things have changed drastically from when I was their age. Girls now a days are downright mean and nasty. I remember we could be mean but to the lengths that these girls of today. You also stood by your friend, you never left you in a alley to defend yourself when someone was going to attack you then say they were worried about you, that is not a friend. This happened to my daughter on Friday night and now this girl is trying to say I was so worried about her, give me a break worried. Friends don't leave friends in a time like that, they at least call 911 for help. To make the matters worse my daughter was jumped because of this so called friend who got this other girl to come after my daughter. We wonder why our kids don't trust others.....this is a perfect example of how you can't even trust those that call themselves your friend.

The youth of today know that they can really push the limits and the most they might get is community service or don't do this again. We have created the society that our children live in and we have created this mess. Our schools have banned the Lord's Prayer because it is disrespectful to the non Christian children. When I was in school if you weren't a Christian you stood outside the class room while the rest of us said the Lord's Prayer. You're no longer allowed to use the strap in the school system, no no they suspend the kids from school for a day or two, all we are teaching our kids with that punishment is if you misbehave bad enough you can have a day off school maybe more depending on what you do. We ask why so many kids have gone bad, in and out of the justice system they way they are...I think if we just looked back and seen how we made it possible for them to turn out they way they have we'd realize that we helped contribute to the problems.

I am glad the my girls are nearly done the teen years.