I have been thinking a lot about this new feeling that awoke inside of me on Monday. Realizing that there are many factors to my awakening. I realized that my awakening was a slow process that needed that final push to get me through the fog I had been living under for so long.
One of the hardest things to get through was the passing of my dad in June 2008. My dad and I were very close...in many ways he was one of my best friends with the exception that I didn't share all my secrets with him if you know what I mean. I could turn to my dad for just about anything...if I just needed someone to talk to, someone to tell me that I am doing okay and everything is going to alright and someone to just laugh with. This left a huge void in my life and it hasn't been easy to fill that void but it is getting better. As crazy as it sounds my husband and I have gotten closer since my dad's passing - we both realized that we needed each other than we thought. My daughter Brittany and I have developed a closer bond....we are not just mother and daughter, we are also friends....very good friends. I talk with my Aunt in Cranbrook & Kamploops more on the phone than I think I used and really enjoy those conversations (some of this void is filled by my aunts). I only wish I lived closer to both of them so we could get together more for coffee or just to go for a walk. I still talk to God and my dad.....I have lots of time on my way to and from work.
I have also found time to fill this void left in my life with taking time for myself....something that I didn't do very often before, I was always involved in one thing or another for my kids. I have started reading more than before and then there is my card making and stamping which go hand in hand together with scrapbooking. I have picked up all the material except the batting and backing to make myself a throw quilt. So I am finding ways to fill the void and will still have times when the hole's show through that void now that my dad is at home with the Lord, my mom, grandparents and many other loves ones.
One thing I have learned through all of this is that time with friends and family is very special and shouldn't be taken for granted.
Live for Today Plan for Tomorrow Remember Yesterday!
Make every moment count!
Wednesday, 4 March 2009
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